Formulate an I-message

A tool that turns blame into understandable requests, feeling and need instead of attack.

Here’s how

1. Describe the situation plainly: “When …” (no “always”, no “never”).
2. Name your feeling: “… I feel …”.
3. Name your need: “… because … matters to me.”
4. Make a concrete request: “Would you be willing to …?”

A calm self-help exercise, no substitute for therapy. Leave out whatever doesn’t feel good.