I-messages: saying what you need
“You never tidy up!”, and the argument is here. An I-message turns it around: you speak about yourself, about your experience and your need. It works because it corners no one.Four building blocksA good I-message needs no fillers, just a clear order:Observation, feeling, need, requestObservation: plainly, what happened, without “always”/“never”….
Listening that really lands
“You never listen to me” is one of the most common reproaches in relationships. Usually we don’t mean it badly, we’re just already at the counter-argument inside while the other is still talking. Real listening can be practised, and it often changes conversations more than the best argument.Wanting to understandListening…