A job change, a fresh start after a separation, the question “Do I want this for the next 20 years?” , transitions are part of life. They often feel uncertain, because the old is already gone but the new not yet here. This very in-between phase can be shaped deliberately.
A transition is more than a change
The change is the outer event (a new job, a move, retirement). The Transition is the inner part that goes with it , and that takes longer. The image of three phases helps: first an Letting go of the old, then an unclear In-between time, and finally a New beginning. Knowing that the in-between time is normal helps you bear it, rather than seeing it as failure.
At a glance
- Allow the goodbye: even a chosen change may carry a loss.
- Bear the in-between time: Uncertainty is not a mistake, it is part of the way.
- Experiment small: Trying something new beats agonising over the “one right” decision.
Values as a compass
In transitions, less the perfect plan than the question: What truly matters to me? Whoever knows their values , calm, effectiveness, connection, freedom , decides more easily, because they have their own yardstick rather than only salary and others’ expectations.
Midlife: not a breakdown, but a stocktaking
Around midlife many ask the questions of meaning anew. That is not a crisis to be removed, but an invitation to review your course and adjust it deliberately , in small steps, not by tearing everything down.
How to begin
Write in two columns: “What I want to keep” and “What I may let go”. Then choose a small experiment for the next two weeks. More in the Exercises on this topic.
General self-help impulses, no substitute for therapy or medical or career advice. In crisis: helpline (Germany) 0800 111 0 111.
What most people think
I just need to get this in-between time over with quickly.
The thought behind it
The undefined space between the old and the new feels empty, yet it is often the most fertile phase. Here, what later takes shape is quietly being ordered. Some things need the in-between in order to come into being at all.