“Should I switch or stay?” rarely resolves with a pros-and-cons list, because the most important question lies beneath: what actually matters to me? Whoever knows their values decides more calmly and stands behind the decision later.
Values and goals
A goal is reachable and ticked off (“a promotion”). A value is a direction that always holds (“effectiveness”, “connection”, “freedom”, “calm”). Values show you what to recognise a good decision by.
Your compass in three steps
- Write down 8 to 10 values that matter to you.
- Cross out until 3 remain, the ones without which you wouldn’t be yourself.
- Test your options against these 3: which brings you closer to them?
Comparison grows quieter
With your own yardstick you have to measure yourself against others less. That someone earns more or is “further” says nothing about whether your path fits your values.
How to begin
Use the values compass from the exercises and hold your current decision next to it. Often more clears up than further rumination would have.
General self-help impulses, no substitute for therapy or medical or professional career advice. In crisis: helpline (Germany) 0800 111 0 111.