Listening that really lands
“You never listen to me” is one of the most common reproaches in relationships. Usually we don’t mean it badly, we’re just already at the counter-argument inside while the other is still talking. Real listening can be practised, and it often changes conversations more than the best argument.Wanting to understandListening…
Self-compassion: kind to yourself, especially when it’s hard
Many believe they have to be hard on themselves to get ahead. Research shows the opposite: whoever berates themselves after mistakes grows more anxious and gives up sooner. Kindness to yourself is the more resilient basis for change.What self-compassion really isThe psychologist Kristin Neff describes three building blocks that interlock:The…
Coping: the two ways to handle stress
Two people, the same difficult situation, one stays calm, the other panics. Why? Stress research answers clearly: how we appraise a situation decides the stress it triggers. That is exactly where you can begin.Stress arises in the appraisalThe psychologist Richard Lazarus described stress as a mismatch: we feel it when…