If-then plans: resolutions that last
“I want to eat more healthily”, and in the evening the hand reaches for the crisps anyway. Resolutions are often too vague for the moment of temptation. Research shows: whoever decides in advance when and what exactly they do follows through far more often.From wish to if-then ruleAn if-then plan…
Understanding and overcoming procrastination
We rarely put off because the task doesn’t matter to us. Usually it stirs an unpleasant feeling: overwhelm, boredom, fear of failing. Procrastination is the attempt to escape that feeling briefly. That is exactly where you can begin, with clever small steps.Why “pull yourself together” doesn’t helpSelf-reproach deepens the bad…
I-messages: saying what you need
“You never tidy up!”, and the argument is here. An I-message turns it around: you speak about yourself, about your experience and your need. It works because it corners no one.Four building blocksA good I-message needs no fillers, just a clear order:Observation, feeling, need, requestObservation: plainly, what happened, without “always”/“never”….
Appreciation in everyday life
We quickly notice what annoys, and easily overlook what goes well. In relationships this turns dangerous: as soon as criticism and irritation outweigh the small friendly moments, the mood tips by stealth. The good part: you can tend the ratio actively.The ratio is what countsStable relationships have far more warm…