Fighting fair
Conflict belongs to every living relationship. It turns harmful through the manner: contempt, point-scoring, old stories. Fair conflict can be agreed, best beforehand, in calm times.The red line: contemptCriticising a thing is fine. Contempt , eye-rolling, mockery, “typical you” , works like poison, because it devalues the person. Whoever drops…
I-messages: saying what you need
“You never tidy up!” , and the argument is here. An I-message turns it around: you speak about yourself, about your experience and your need. It works because it corners no one.Four building blocksA good I-message needs no fillers, just a clear order:Observation , feeling , need , requestObservation: plainly,…
Letting go of perfectionism
Perfectionism passes for a virtue, “I’m just thorough”. Often fear sits behind it: of mistakes, of criticism, of the sense of not being enough. And that is exactly what blocks. Whoever must be perfect starts hesitantly and rarely finishes.Standards and perfectionismA healthy standard wants good work and is then content….
Stop comparing yourself
You scroll, and suddenly your own life seems dull: others travel, found companies, shine. Comparison is human, but it almost always sets your inner life beside others’ shop window. That cannot end fairly.Why comparison distortsOf yourself you know everything, doubts, bad days, effort. Of others you see the high point,…